


Haikyuu groupchat

by aphunks



Category: haikyuu
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, chatfic, groupchat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphunks/pseuds/aphunks
Summary: When daichi adds ‘everyone’ his dumbass doesn’t realize it means ‘everyone.’ Once the groupchat falls in the malicious hands of two mischievous boys, chaos ensues And no one is safe. No first year, no cinnamon role and definitely not your OTP.
Relationships: Everyone x Everyone, whatever ya want
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

DAICHI CREATED THE CHAT: Karasuno 🏐🏐

DAICHI HAS ADDED ‘ALL VOLLEYBALL’ CONTACTS. 

Daichi: wait what does it mean all volleyball 

Koshi: um wait-

Kei: YOU ADDED ALL THE CAPTAINS????

Koshi: excuse me young man

Hinata: ooo whew a group chat :o

Daichi: Hey tsukishima what do you mean everyone 

Yu: AYYYE THIS IS WHERE ITS AT 

Ryu: DAMN RIGHT DAMN RIGHT 

Tobi: literally my ears hurt from reading that 

Kei: Daichi what in the ever loving fuck did you do-

Suba: you know what I’m really not liking this attitude tsukishima 

Kei: IDC! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE IN HERE? 

Tadashi: calm down kei... 

Kei: dont tell me what to do. Shut up yamaguchi 

Tadashi: :(

Tobi: kei stfu stop complaining all the damn time 

Hinata: do you think he’s mad at us for that?  
Hinata: look we’re sorry we didn’t know it was your bag 

Kei: what?   
Kei: I’m not fucking talking about any bag   
Kei: wait what did you do 

Suga: vibes are off today 

Daichi: ....  
Daichi: what is a vibe 

Yu: YESS YOU USED THE WORD AGSDHEIJIE

Chikara: heys what’s going on...

Ryu: sugamama became one of us

Kei: I’m going to shove this phone down your throat KAGEYAMA!

Tobio: it won’t fit 

Ryu: lmfao I think it will at this point don’t lie 

Tobio: wtf! 

Chikara: on another note goodbye 

Hinata: tsukishima what are you saying. What do you mean by everyone 

Kei: are you all fucking blind? 

Suga: ...

Yu: Uh oh you’re making suga mad 

Kei: Jeez okay sorry but still!   
Kei: look at the names of everyone in this chat

Daichi: um

Tadashi: I don’t see anything wrong?   
Tadashi: wait... 

Yu: oh fuck 

Suga: Language 

Ryu: how did this happen? How is...

Daichi: haha lets just leave this chat guys...

Kei: yes thank god. You all are seeing it now let’s go-

Testuro: OYA OYA OYA OYA

Kei: FUCK 

Hinata: Huh? 

Suga: omg what’s going on-

Kotaro: OYA OYA OYA OYA 

Daichi: okay calm down pls-

Chikara: I hate it here...I hate it. 

Hinata: what is happening? Why is everyone typing so much? 

Tobio: don’t contribute to it you idiot 

Hinata: what! I was just asking a question I’m sorry should I just stay quiet and never speak again? 

Tobio: yes. 

Yu; LMAO SAVAGE 

kei: Good fucking god...what did you do captain 

Suga: I’m sure it wasn’t intentional 

Hinata: bakayama is being a jerk again! 

Daichi: sigh 

Testuro: this was a brilliant idea. Simply brilliant!   
Testuro: enjoying this very much 

Kei: just shut up

Testuro: oh man where’s this pent up rage being stored? 

Kotaro: Daichi mind if I add Akashi???!!!?

Daichi: yes, I mind. 

Kotaro added Akashi to the groupchat. 

Daichi: wait what that didn’t mean yes-

Kotaro: stopped reading after yes

Akashi: What is all this? Karasuno grouchat? Why are we here? 

Kei: yes why are you here. Leave 

Hinata: omg wait bokuto I didn’t even see your message!

Tobio: Jeez calm down 

Kotaro: oh hello my apprentice! 

Kei: ...tf

Suga: can everyone stop typing for one second 

Yu: no ❤️

Ryu: no ❤️

Suga: excuse me? 

Ryu: yes 💔😔

Yu: you’re so mean 😔😔😔

Suga: oh give it a break 

Daichi: I just want everyone to know this was a mistake, so If you all can leave and forget this 

Tetsuro: yeah no 

Daichi: why not 

Kei: IM LEAVING!!!

Tobio: no one cares 

Tadashi: I care 

Kei: shut up yamaguchi wtf...

Daichi: look this is just chaos. We live so far from each other this is useless 

Kotaro: actually Akashi and I are in karasuno rn

Hinata: REALLY 😯😯

Akashi: well this is true. I cannot lie 

Daichi: I’m ending this chat 

Tetsuro: NOOO  
Tetsuro: WHY?

Kei: he suddenly became a baby. Ha 

Suga: oh just realized the other captains aren’t here yet. Maybe you should hurry this up 

Daichi: I will damn don’t rush me 

Suga: you’ve been saying this to me in private chats for the last ten minutes...get to it 

Yu: when mom and dad are fighting 💔🙄

Suga: if you don’t shut your ass up-

Hinata: omg 😳

Daichi: i

Tobio: wtf is going on 

Suga: I apologize, lost my cool for a second. 

Daichi: anyway...

Tetsuro: YOU BETTA NOT DELETE THIS CHAT 

Kotaro: YEAH I’LL 

Akashi: you’ll what? 

Ryu: he’ll 

Hinata: this is all so confusing   
Hinata: is the chat ending or not? 

Suga: yes it is. 

Tetsuro: NO it’s not! 

Daichi: how do you end a chat? 

Kotaro: oh I know how!

Kei: ??????  
Kei: wha

Daichi: can you send me instructions 

Kotaro: ofc ❤️

Tadashi: It’s getting weird 

Ryu: It’s always been weird 

Yu: and it’ll stay that way 😋

Ryu: Damn right 

Suga: didn’t I tell you two to keep your mouths shut? 

Yu: actually you said specifically ‘if you don’t shut your ass up-‘

Suga: YES! I know. 

Daichi: okay I got the instruction 

Testuro: this is so sad 💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭

Kei: shut up 

Akashi: bokuto why are you helping them delete the chat 

Kotaro: change of heart? :) 

Tobio: Huh 

Yu: well that’s something 

Daichi: okay goodbye everyone   
Daichi: sorry for this 

Kei: thank fucking GOD 

Tadashi: bokuto is so nice :) 

Hinata: yes that’s why he’s my idol 

Kotaro: 😱🤗😜

Akashi: sigh. 

Daichi has made KOTARO the admin.   
Daichi has left the groupchat. 

Kei: WTF

Kotaro: HAHAHAHAHAHA 

Tetsuro: YES BRO YOU’REE SO GENIUS 

Kotaro: IKR BRO I MASTERMINDED THE WHOLE PLAN 

Suga: I-

Hinata: why did Daichi leave? Is he coming back to delete the chat or not 

Tobio: I’m not even...not even going to bother to explain

Ryu: oh man we should’ve done that 

Yu: yes I feel so stupid now smh 

Akashi: why did I know this was going to happen 

Kotaro: FULL POWER BABY   
Kotaro: KUURO BRO YOU WANNA BE ADMIN 

Tetsuro: HELL YA!

Kei: I’m done 

Kotaro has made Tetsuro an admin. 

Suga: I need to explain what happened and also find out what happened to Daichi.   
Suga: I can’t believe you two...

Tetsuro: we own the world   
Tetsuro: and non admins can’t leave! 

Tobio: what kind of ugly feature...

Kotaro: get ready 😈  
Kotaro: this is going to be the best groupchat you’ve ever seen.


	2. Chapter Two: even more chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip oikawa thee end

Suga: okay just so we can get a clear list   
Suga: who is in this chat at the moment?

Testuro: question is WHO ISN’T?

Tobio: wait aren’t other captains in here 

Yu: this is gonna be crazy. I’m so exited 

Suga: strange they haven’t come online yet...

Asahi: what is all this 

Yu: A BIT LATE DUDE

Koatro: other captains have meets going on

Ryu: okay so here’s the list so far...

Hinata: oh!

Ryu: Suga, Aashi, Yu, me, ennoshita , those other two second years, kageyama, shoyo, tsukishima, yamaguchi, Our two queens Kiyoko and Yachi and uh...Ukai sir is here too 

Yu: well shit 

Suga: language 

Hinata: umm maybe someone should add Daichi back

Ryu: Kuroo, Oikwawa, Moniwa, Bokuto, Akaashi, Ushijima, Terushima

Tobio: omg 

Asahi: why are all the captains in this groupchat...?

Kei: that’s what we’ve been trying to fix this whole time 

Suga: I’ll add Daichi back   
Suga: but mind you two he’s angry 

Tetsuro: 😚

Kotaro: he’ll get over it! 

Suga added Daichi to the groupchat. 

Daichi: Nkjshjkhvkjndjwknwjknfendsklnwe,

Yamaguchi: Huh? 

Hinata: oh no I think his keyboard is broken 

Suga: give it a minute 

Tetsuro: I’m interested so far 

Tobio: was there a code in there or something...?

Daichi: nbhwdiodjdjoisjdowjoiqsjiojicantbelieveit 

Ryu: oh yeah guys he said ryunosuke Tanaka will be captain next year 🤪

Akaashi: he said he can’t believe it and a bunch of gibberish 

Kotaro: oh I didn’t see that 🤨🤨

Suga: just wait a little more...

Kei: I’m loosing brain cells. 

Asahi: suga is he okay??

Suga: don’t know how to answer that rn 

Yamaguchi: captain...?

Daichi: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TWO TRICKED ME LIKE THAT EVEN AFTER I TRUSTE DYOU BOKUTO HOW DARE YOU 

Hinata: oh my gosh!!

Suga: Hinata sweetie cover your ears 

Daichi: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE EVERYTHING AS A JOKE I SWEAR TO GOD NEXT TIME I SEE YOU ITS ON SIGHT

Tetsuro: LMAO are you challenging us to a fight 

Daichi: TO A GAME. WE’LL BEAT YOUR ASSES 

Ryu: lol he said asses 

Yu: 🤭🤭

Hinata: captain-

Kotaro: I don’t get it 😕 we made such a fun groupchat why are you angry 

Kei: who the fuck thinks this is fun 

Suga: language 

Oikawa: I do 😳😳

Tobi: I’m out 

Hinata: what why!! Kageyama you have to be here with me pls I don’t understand anything!

Yu: 😏

Kageyama: hey what they hell does that mean nishinoya?!  
Kageyama: you idiot I don’t have to stay here for you!

Ryu: Damn It’s getting hot in here 

Oikawa: by all means, leave. 

Yamaguchi: and now it’s cold 👍

Hitoka: ummm omg what’s going on??

Hinata: oh thank goodness you’re here!   
Hinata: nvm bakayama you can leave now

Kageyama: what the hell?

Daichi: I am begging you. End this chat 

Kei: why don’t we all leave

Tetsuro: because you know we’ll add you right back   
Tetsuro: I’m surprised I didn’t think of doing this before, it’s genius  
Tetsuro: you are one smart man Daichi 

Daichi: SHUT UP

Suga: okay calm down now. We can settle this like normal people 

Kotaro: I’m not normal! 

Akaashi: we know. 

Oikawa: Damn why are you all so hostile :’(

Tobio: because people like you are here 

Kei: because people like BOTH of you are here 

Tetsuro: because people like ALL OF US are here ! 👍🤪

Oikawa: oh well I’m gonna have my fun #sorrynotsorry 

Hitoka: well this is weird   
Hitoka: Hinata wanna get ice cream later 

Hinata: sure! 😋

Kageyama: wtf...you won’t invite me?

Hinata: omg I guess 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄  
Hinata: I’m gonna go get ready 

Hitoka: same and...I’m muting this chat you guys talk too much   
Hitoka: like get a life lol 

Yu: damn that hurt 

Ryu: wtf who made her like this 😭

Suga: you both did

Daichi: I’m not done with any of you!  
Daichi: you better practice because you’re gonna need it just to score ONE point against us

Tetsuro: whatever you say bro 

Kotaro: looking forward to it!

Oikawa: ooo a match? Are we invited?

Daichi: NO 

Asahi: ouch 

Yu: we don’t like going against teams that have a lower skill level then us 🤣🤣

Yamaguchi: yeah haha you guys suck! 

Kei: don’t try being mean it doesn’t suit you 

Yamaguchi: aw okay 

Oikawa: you guys are so mean 💔😭 I’m calling iwa 

Kei: yeah we don’t care 

Oikawa: 😭😭


	3. Fighting 🤪

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot about this thing lmao

Tetsuro: imma spice it up a bit 😜😜

Tetsuro added Kenma.

Tetsuro: hiiiii ken 😋😋

Kenma: yea no 

Kenma has left the groupchat . 

Ryu: LMAOOO

Tetsuro: stfu 

Kei: That backfired. Hah. 

Tetsuro: he miss-clicked shut up 

Ryu: yeah SUREEEEE

Asahi: ummm does anyone find it weird Ukai sir and the other captains still haven’t talked? 

Daichi: Moniwa respectfully messaged me he muted the chat, and I don’t think Ushijima even knows how to use his phone 

Kei: what about that asshole terushima 

Daichi: actually I have no idea. I’m kind of scared he’s going to pop out of nowhere 

Tetsuro: I wouldn’t count on it 

Kei: wym

Asahi: I hope sir doesn’t read these messages 😥

Tetsuro: well not so far   
Tetsuro: but your manager has been reading them since d1 and hasn’t said anything 

Ryu: WHAT?

Daichi: oh makes sense. She asked me to be removed before when I had power 

Tetsuro: ahh yes before 

Daichi: shut up 

Akaashi: just add Kenma back I might go insane 

Tetsuro: he’s threatening to block my number 💔💔

Kotaro: I’ll do it don’t worry bro 😜👍  
Tetsuro: omg ty bro ily ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😜😜😜

Kei: wtf 

Daichi: don’t question it 

Kotaro added Kenma. 

Kenma: I trusted you. You’re a monster 

Tetsuro: HIII WELCOME BACK ❤️

Kenma: kill me 

Ryu: It’s so fun watching him get rejected and roasted at the same time. I’m here for itt

Akaashi: thank god 

Kenma: oh hey you’re here . That’s reliving 

Akaashi: ikr. I asked for you 

Kenma: Aw

Ryu: kuroo punching the air right now 

Kotaro: akaashiiiii now that your playmate is here can I add more people ???

Kenma: playmate I-

Ryu: bruh 

Asahi: what’s going on in this chat I left for like two seconds 

Tetsuro: kenma has a ‘playmate’ now 😔 thot I was his playmate 

Kenma: um 

Akaashi: no this is simply not-

Kotaro: AKAASSSHIIII PLS 

Akaashi: did you just interrupt me mid text? 

Kei: literal hell 

Yamaguchi: tsukii why didn’t u mute the chat yet 

Kei: I’m banned from muting the chat. 

Ryu: LMAOOO  
Ryu: what kind of fucked up chat room is this the settings are wack asf

Tetsuro: I love it ❤️

Kei: yeah we get it 

Asahi: tbh this chat room is really interesting I wouldn’t leave. Maybe mute

Ryu: It’s funny because all that happens is that kuroo gets rejected, people love putting - and the romantic tension just bubbles right at the surface 

Kenma: sounds like every damn championship/meet/practice match we’ve ever had   
Kenma: Boring. 

Kotaro: damn okay 

Kei: it is fucking BORING. I HATE it here

Suga: language 

Daichi: now where tf did you just come from? 

Suga: I hate having to remind y’all to mind your language when there’s an actual adult in the chat.  
Suga: not to mention you’re making us look bad in front of other captains. 

Ryu: wait now wait a min we look bad? 

Asahi: suga I have to disagree, look at the admins of this chat 

Tetsuro: now what did we do 🥺🥺

Kotaro: I’m sorry suga we’re trying our best 🥺🥺

Akaashi: .....

Daichi: I’m not gonna say anything 

Ryu: lmao these lying ass bitches

Suga: If you don’t stop-

Ryu: OMG wtf! Look at how fake they are why are you getting mad at me 

Kenma: I have to agree they’re fake ass hoes 

Suga: Kenma sweetie don’t say those bad words ❤️   
Suga: Ik you look up to Ryu but he’s a bad example 

Ryu: HUH

Tetsuro: lmfaooo. I can’t   
Suga: Ryu you always set such a bad example 

Ryu: WE’RE THE SAME AGE SHEWWIUEIUEWHDIH

Daichi: I’m not getting involved.   
Daichi: Just listen to suga 

Ryu: you just said you aren’t getting involved 😭😭

Kotaro: woah this is the first fight of many in this chat I feel 

Kei: pls don’t say that. This is like killing my brain cells 

Ryu: stfu this is because of you 

Suga: RYU!

Asahi: ooooooh boy 

Kenma: I feel like I’m at fault here, I’m sorry for cursing suga 

Suga: don’t apologize ITS OKAY ❤️

Ryu: omg I cant I’m logging off bye 

Daichi: you come back here right now young man and apologize 

Oikawa: oo did I just walk into some role playing?   
Oikawa: okay I’ll be the dog   
Oikawa: 🐶🐶 I’m cute 

Kei: w...tf

Kenma: cursed chat 

Ryu: no you guys are too mean 😭  
Ryu: you always take the side of the other team members except your own it’s not fair 

Asahi: okay this is a bit too much 

Yamaguchi: are you okay??

Ryu: yeah I’m fine smh   
Ryu: just pisses me off 

Tetsuro: things got a bit heated here for sure lmaooo

Suga: 🤨🤨  
Suga: I keep my team in line maybe you should keep yourself in line. 

Kotaro: DAMN

Daichi: this is an ‘lol’ moment 

Oikawa: I love to see it   
Oikawa: Kuroo getting roasted 

Kuroo: damn no body asked you 🙄

Oikawa: honey everyone cares about what I say though 😄

Kenma: not really 

Kei: not at all 

Suga: yeah no ❤️

Ryu: you wish lmao 

Kageyama: No one cares. 

Oikawa: be QUIET all of you 

Yamaguchi: no one is speaking so idk what you’re hearing 

Ryu: bruh the quiet ones are becoming savage today 

Kenma: I was always savage 

Tetsuro: I know 💔💔


	4. Exposed ur ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wtf am I doing in this story

Hinata: where did everyone go?   
Hinata: it’s so quiet here 

Kageyama: how can you hear things 

Ryu: oh your sound is off Kageyama?  
Ryu: you can’t hear us? 

Hinata: wait there’s a sound option 

Kageyama: where is it? I can’t find it 

Ryu: if you don’t have it on I guess you can’t use it :/

Kageyama: wtf 

Akaashi: There’s no sound option

Ryu: dude why did you have to tell them I was trying to play a prank-  
Ryu: I’m telling bokuto 

Akaashi: whatever 

Hinata: omg Ryu why did you lie I just looked it up and couldn’t find anything 

Ryu: lol Hinata you oikawa and yamaguchi are the only ones whose last name is their screen name  
Ryu: speaking of screen names...we should change them up 

Kageyama: no 

Hinata: ooo yes I’m so excited!!!!

Akaashi: how can you do that without admin power? 

Ryu: well for now I need Kuroo to come online so let’s all spam him till he gets annoyed or excited that people pay him attention 

Chikara: Damn that’s cold 

Ryu: oh hey   
Ryu: help me with these names :p

Chikara: why me? 🙂

Ryu: because you know everyone well and you’re creative and stuff 

Hinata: that’s true! Enoshita you’re very smart 

Chikara: aw thank you so much Shoya   
Chikara: I won’t help you Ryu bye 

Ryu: time to spam you in dms 

Chikara: wait no-  
Chikara: stop   
Chikara: STOP I’LL DO IT 

Ryu: that’s what I thought 

Chikara: how did you start so fast?? 

Ryu: I have my ways 

Hinata: are you going to show us the names? I’m so excited 

Kageyama: it’s not that big of a deal 

Ryu: you’ll find out once it’s changed 

Chikara: ugh 

TWO HOURS LATER 

Tetsuro: anyway I was asked by someone to change the names so yeah   
Tetsuro: doing that   
Tetsuro: btw I am not responsible for their creation so please don’t attack me :p 

Tetsuro has changed Daichi to DADchichi  
Tetsuro has changed Suga to daichisdelicioussugar

Asahi: um wait a min-

Tetsuro has changed Yu to Meme#2  
Tetsuro has changed Asahi to asshi 

Asshi: omg 

Daichisdelicioussugar: um

Tetsuro has changed Ryu to Meme#1  
Tetsuro has changed Chikara to eno  
Tetsuro has changed Hisashi to who? 

Eno: thank god I got to pick my own name 😶😶

Tetsuro has changed Kazuhiro to Kazookid  
Tetsuro has changed Tobio to The king 

The king: 😑

Meme#1: :)

Tetsuro has changed Hinata to bunshine   
Tetsuro has changed Kei to pissoff  
Tetsuro has changed Yamaguchi to guccithicc 

Guccithicc: what does my name mean 

Akaashi: ...

Daichisdelicioussugar: nothing you need to know. 

Tetsuro has changed Kiyoko to QUEEN  
Tetsuro has changed Hitoka to PRINCESS   
Testuro has removed Ukai sir 

Meme#2: forgot he was here 

Asshi: same 

Tetsuro has changed Tetsuro to daddy 

Bunshine: omg what🤔😳😳

The king: I thought Daichi was the daddy 

Meme#1: BYE 

Daichisdelicioussugar: honey no I- 

Tetsuro has changed Kenma to purrrr  
Tetsuro has changed Oikawa to gay4iwa 

Gay4iwa: wait what 😳 

Eno: I came up with this one specifically 

Gay4iwa: change it rn 😭😭

Tetsuro: no way lmfao 

Tetsuro has changed Moniwa to silent  
Tetsuro has changed Kotaro to LOUD!   
Tetsuro has changed Akaashi to hoothoot   
Tetsuro has changed Ushijima to kingofagriculture 

Daddy: whew I think that’s all 

Meme#1: you changed your name- 

Daddy: yeah I thought this one suits me better

Eno: not like we have any control 

Gay4iwa: bro please change my name if iwa saw this 😭😭

Daddy: nah. You deserve this LMAO 

DADchichi: what is my name? Dadchichi? Who came up with this? 

Meme#1: I think it’s good 

DADchichi: change it this instant Kuroo! 

Daddy: excuse me the name is daddy~

Bunshine: I’m confused who is supposed to be daddy 😫😫

Daichisdelicoussugar: y’all better stop now 🙂🙂

Guccithicc: yeah I still don’t get my name either 😕😕

Meme#2: omg you removed Ukai sir   
Meme#2: did he read any messages? 

Daddy: no I don’t think so 

DADchichi: thank god... 

LOUD!: I think these r nice names ❤️

Hoothoot: not really 

Bunshine: I’m really sorry but I keep forgetting who is who omg 

Guccithicc: I still don’t get my name 😔

Gay4iwa: these are NOT NICE   
Gay4iwa: I’m so embarrassed 

The king: I mean it’s not like he can see it 

Gay4iwa: don’t SAY ANYTHING YOU FOOL 

Daddy: hmm...do I have his number 

Gay4iwa: NO. YOU DONT NOW STFU 

Meme#1: damn it’s getting hot in here

LOUD!: I think I do! 

Gay4iwa: PLS 

The king: come on guys I don’t think you should add him 

Gay4iwa: you keep your mouth shut before you dig me into a deeper hole pleaseee 😡😡

Daddy: ty for the motivation 

Daddy has added Hajime. 

Gay4iwa: GODOODBYE

Meme#1: I think he threw his phone across the room he’s not coming back yet 

Hajime: ?  
Hajime: what is this?   
Hajime: is this the groupchat shittykawa was bragging about being a part of 

The king: he was what now 

Daddy: lmaoo damn our gc is pretty famous right bokubro?

LOUD!: hell yeah! 

DADchichi: wtf I made this chat you bxstxrds!

Dachisdelicioussugar: to be honest if you’re gonna do that, just curse

Meme#1: wow ofc you make exceptions for your husband 🙃

Hajime: alright then   
Hajime: wait wtf is his name 

Daddy: oh yeah Ryu set that 

Hajime: wtf is your name?  
Hajime: wait who is everyone? I think I have one number set here and it’s suga 

Dachisdelicoussugar: yeah...that’s me

Hajime: dude...

Daddy: I should probably give you a name too 

LOUD!: yes! What should we call you? 

Hajime: as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with that loser 

Daddy: as you wish 

Daddy has changed Hajime to Oikawasaceofhearts 

Oikwasaceofhearts: what the hell?!

Daddy: whoops finger slipped hehe 

Meme#1: damn okay I see you Kuroo 

Eno: whew I left for two seconds and we already have a new member who hates their name 

Oikawasaceofhearts: this name is disgusting you better change it Kuroo 

Bunshine: yeah something like bunshine! 

Daddy: you asked me to change your name and I did...I just ignored the oikawa part 💀

Oikawasaceofhearts: that asshole...he got me into this in the first place he’s gonna pay 

Daichisdelicioussugar: if I were you I’d be grateful for that name 

The king: omg I think oikawa is too embarrassed to face you 

Oikawasaceofhearts: what because of that stupid username?   
Oikawasaceofhearts: I mean that’s funny af but I don’t like my name 

Bunshine: hahahaha you two are funny 

Daddy: I’m not changing the names...for now so suck it up 

Oikawasaceofhearts: fine i’ll just hunt him down with a machete goodbye everyone 

The king: umm shouldn’t we be worried? 

Meme#1: no ❤️  
Meme#1: it’s what he deserves 

Daichisdelicoussugar: smh I’d rather be him


	5. Plans plans plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the list of names if you’re confused>
> 
> Daichi-DADchichi  
> Suga-Dachisdelicioussugar  
> Yu-Meme#2  
> Asahi-Asshi  
> Ryu-Meme#1  
> Chikara-eno  
> Hisashi-who?  
> Kazuhiro-kazookid  
> Tobio-the king   
> Hinata-bunshine  
> Tsukkishima-pissoff  
> Yamaguchi-guccithicc  
> Kiyoko-QUEEN  
> Hitoka-PRINCESS   
> Kuroo-Daddy  
> Kenma-purrrr  
> Oikawa-gay4iwa   
> Moniwa-silent   
> Kotaro-LOUD!  
> Akaashi-hoothoot  
> Ushijima-kingofagriculture   
> Iwa-oikawasaceofhearts

LOUD!: I miss akaashi :(

Hoothoot: we are at practice right now-

Bunshine: wait practice! It’s so early!

LOUD!: Akaashi and I try to get an extra hour in together 

Pissoff: how cute 🙄🙄

LOUD!: don’t b jealous 2 ask kuroo 

Daddy: Huh? 

Pissoff: are you stalking the chat? 

Daddy: maybe ?   
Daddy: wait you wanna get a 1 on 1 session with me Tsukki? Awww  
Daddy; I’m not sure Kenma would be okay with it, but let’s see :p

Purrrr: I literally don’t care.   
Pissoff: I don’t want to be anywhere near you, so no thanks. 

LOUD!: it helps akaashi and I a lot!!! We are so focused right now!

Hoothoot: Bokuto can you please turn off your phone? You just missed every shot I set up for you. 

Bunshine: awww man id love some 1 on 1 time with someone as talented as you two!

LOUD!: ooo I g2g  
LOUD!: HMU anytime little guy 

Hoothoot: Bokuto please. 

LOUD!: sorry! 

Daddy: lmfao 💀  
Daddy: you want a session with me Hinata? ;)

Pissoff: you’re joking right-

Bunshine: OMG yes!! 

Pissoff: Hinata idiot, can you read? 

Bunshine: go away! You’re just jealous 

Pissoff: oh please wtf am I jealous of? 

Purrrr: maybe he’s looking out for Hinata 

Bunshine: I don’t need your protection tsukki,  
Bunshine: just because you’re tall doesn’t mean you’re my guardian or anything!

Pissoff: buzz off, that spots saved for the king anyway 

Meme#1: what’s going on

Pissoff: none of your business, why do you ask dumb questions like that without reading the chat

Meme#1: wow someone’s agitated  
Meme#1: Hinata you know you can always get a session from me and the other second years right 😌😌

Bunshine: yes but I’m so used to playing with you it’s like we’re equals! 

Daddy: bahahaha 

Meme#1: EQUALS?!  
Meme#1: Hinata you’re dead to me. 

Bunshine: Huh?!

Daddy: no need to be mean   
Daddy: there’s enough of me to go around ;)

DADchichi: Not meaning to intrude on whatever this is...But I have an announcement. 

Daddy: damn, while I was trying to be smooth

Purrrr: trust me, you weren’t smooth. 

Bunshine: what’s up captain?

Pissoff: please don’t tell me we’re having another practice meet with some loser team 

DADchichi: Watch your mouth while insulting other teams when you’re in this groupchat. 

Pissoff: I don’t really care. 

DADchichi: ANYWAY...Yes, you’re right. We have a practice match against Aobajohsai

Pissoff: ugh, at least we’ll win 

Gay4iwa: wtf did you just say you lil bitch? 

Meme#1: ew, where’d you come from? 

Gay4iwa: I was already here wym? 

DADchichi: so you’re solid with this oikawa? 

Gay4iwa: well since we’ll win yeah

Meme#1: pffff

Bunshine: we’ll destroy you! Don’t even think about it!

Daddy: damn y’all got practice matches and shit, it’s making me feel lazy 

Purrrr: cuz you are   
Purrrr: we haven’t had a practice match in so long 

Daddy: no need to be so harsh 😭

Gay4iwa: look, more irrelevant teams talking about having useless practice matches 🤪

Daddy: shut your ass up, you’re literally the weakest here 

DADchichi: I’m not weighing in on this. 

Meme#1: on behalf of Daichi, I AGREE WITH KUROO!

Gay4iwa: y’all are just jealous it’s ok I understand ;p

Daddy: not really 

Meme#1: we are not 

LOUD!: not at alljsw!

Hoothoot: damnit. Put down your phone Bokuto 

LOUD!: cra p 

Gay4iwa: it really so hands like you’re just challenging us  
Gay4iwa: you might regret that after this Saturday tho 😊

Pissoff: you’re embarrassing pffff

Gay4iwa: and you’re gay 

Pissoff: coming at me with that...lmfao shut up 

Meme#1: you forget who you are gay4iwa? 

Gay4iwa: DAMNIT! when will you change this name? 

Meme#1: never 

Daddy: yep, never. Too good 

Gay4iwa: I hate everyone here bye 

Purrrr: need help packing?

Daddy: why are you such a savage-

DADchichi: tell me why I have 2 more coaches asking me for practice matches, what did you all do? 

Bunshine: that sounds like fun!

Meme#1: great, we’ll beat everyone’s asses then  
Meme#1: show em who the superior team is 

DADchichi: no. 

Meme#1: yes ❤️

DADchichi: why’d you put a heart there????

Pissoff: because he’s an idiot 

Daddy: I’m fine with a match. You wanna Daichi?

DADchichi: nice. Asking me that when I don’t have a choice 😑

Daddy: :D

Pissoff: please no. I can’t take on another practice match, oikawa is too much already 

Gay4iwa: Hey :(

Meme#1: thought you left 💀

Purrrr: he never leaves. 

DADchichi: It’s for the teams best interests to accept all I suppose. Saturday it is then, make sure to be on time. 

Daddy: oh I never come late ;)

Purrrr: not true. 

Bunshine: ooooh I didn’t know you were a punctual person Kuroo!!

Meme#1: please I-

Daddy: I’m very punctual Hinata :0

Bunshine: I always come late :/  
Bunshine: Kageyama hates it he gets so frustrated with me 

Pissoff: okay I’m out 😶

DADchichi: enough. Hinata get ready for school and the rest of you stop distracting him from it. 

Bunshine: awww okay :( I guess I’ll see you guys there then 

Meme#1: ye 

DADchichi: see you Hinata   
DADchichi: Kuroo we need to talk about behavior in this chat 😑

Daddy: oh do we now 😲


	6. Whoops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not me checking the last chapter for usernames

DADchichi: I swear if you’re hiding oikawa 

Gay4iwa: calm down I was with Iwa getting something to drink 

Oikawasaceofhearts: actually he was hiding in the bathroom. 

Meme#1: Oh? 

Gay4iwa: stfu iwa 

Asshi: why are we messaging them when we’re in the same school rn?

Meme#2: don’t ask lol  
Meme#2: important stuff happens in here, not in real life 

Gay4iwa: wasn’t hiding in the bathroom 

Meme#1: we read it the first time you sent the message 

Meme#2: 💀

The King: when is the match happening? 

DADchichi: In about an hour   
DADchichi: or once oikawa stops hiding in the bathroom 

The King: why would he be hiding?

Gay4iwa: stfu Tobio   
Gay4iwa: I’m not hiding ffs

Oikawasaceofhearts: yes he is. He said he doesn’t want to look at your faces yet. 

Gay4iwa: that’s it give me your phone 

Daddy: imagining them wrestle rn 

Meme#1: ew no please

Asshi: I’m out. See you once you’re done in the bathroom and ready to play oikawa

Gay4iwa: y’all are mean af I’m not in the damn bathroom 

Bunshine: are any of the other teams here? 

Daddy: on our way 

Meme#1. Shitty boys

Daddy: shut up or I’ll add yaku 

Meme#1: sorry sir. 

DADchichi: well we’re gonna go practice. Wait for the other teams

Daddy: yes 

Meme#1: imma spam memes 

Bunshine: what is that 😳

The King: Huh? 

Purrrr: It’s a meme

Bunshine: I don’t get it   
Bunshine: like why is it shaped that way

Pissoff: my eyes...

Bunshine: what is it? 

The King: I don’t get it either?

Purrrr: Sigh. It’s nothing, don’t question it, look it up, or think about it. Forget it. 

The King: but it’s-

Purrrr: I said forget it. Where is he anyway? 

The King: who? 

Purrrr: The one who posted this. Ryu. I would like a word with him. 

Daddy: lmaooo Kenma we’re here you can have one face to face stop glaring at the phone 

Bunshine: what happened? 

Guccithicc: omggg what is that!

Purrrr: Ugh. I’m out. 

Bunshine: what’s going on what happened to Kenma :(

The King: hey why are you so worried focus on your own team 

Bunshine: he’s my friend back off 😑😑

The King: he’s the opponent stop worrying about him 

Pissoff: well this isn’t a good sign 

Bunshine: why are you so mean to other people? He’s my friend 

The King: you worry too much about him wtf I’m just being honest 

Bunshine: well you’re being mean!

Guccithicc: um 

Pissoff: let them be 

Bunshine: whatever bakayama

The King: really you’re gonna call me that ?

Meme#1: oh great we lost the game smh 😑😑

Bunshine: whatever I’m gonna go find Kenma 

The King: you go do that 🙄🙄

DADchichi: what happened?   
DADchichi: oh lord. 

Meme#1: they had a fight 

Daichisdelicoussugar: what the-

Pissoff: they’re so dumb hahaha 

DADchichi: now idk where they went 

Meme#2: omg what happened? 

Meme#1: Hinata and Kageyama fought again 

Meme#2: ugh which side do I chose now 

Meme#1: none we gotta make them make up or we loose lmao 

Meme#2: well shit 

Dachisdelicioussugar: language. 

Meme#1: wait you’re still here 

Dachisdelicoussugar: I’m always here don’t forget it 

DADchichi: just go find the two...Jeez

Meme#1: how long until the match 

DADchichi: until fukurodoni arrives 

Pissoff: wtf is taking them so long   
Pissoff: @hoothoot get here rn 

Hoothoot: car troubles. 

Meme#1: well hurry up and fix it 

Hoothoot: literally what we’re doing. 

DADchichi: STOP texting and find those two!

Meme#1: y’all good now or

Asshi: why are you messaging here? The match is about to start 

Meme#1: both of them won’t talk i was hoping they would here 

Bunshine: I don’t have anything to say!

Meme#1: pls 

DADchichi: why are you all on your phones! The match is about to begin!

Asshi: bye 🥱

The King: not like I have anything else to say either. Bye 

Meme#1: well 

Bunshine: 😑

Meme#1: I tried

DADchichi: get off your phone 

Meme#1: yessir 

Pissoff: Alright before anything   
Pissoff: I just want to say I was not responsible for any of that.  
Pissoff: bye gonna watch this shitstorm now 

Meme#2: really dude...at least share some popcorn 

DADchichi: there is NOTHING to be celebrating right now.   
DADchichi: not only did we loose every match, but we made a complete fool out of ourselves and totally damaged the reputation of our school.   
DADchichi: I am so furious with you all, words cannot describe 

Bunshine: I-

DADchichi: no Hinata. No. I don’t want hear it right now, maybe another time. 

The King: but actually-

DADchichi: enough. I’m not in the mood to talk. I’ll see you all Monday. 

Meme#1: ...wtf 

Meme#2: calling the funeral service already


End file.
